The Style Invitational Week 977: Lost in Translation
2.0
By Pat Myers, June 20
Original: I keep my food fresh with
preservatives.
Translated into French and then back to
English:
2004 result: I preserve my fresh food
with condoms.
2012 result: I keep my food fresh with
conservatives.
In 2004, a few months into
her reign, the Empress put up a contest that got what might have been our
largest response ever: Contestants had to choose some passage of text and
translate it into one of five languages with Google’s translating tool — then
enter that foreign-language result through the same tool, and ask it to be
translated into English. The results were hilariously incompetent; “linguists,
you won’t soon be replaced by a machine,” the E predicted.
Eight years later, Google
Translate (translate.google.com) does a far, far better job; many of the
passages used in the 2004 contest translate back and forth without a hitch now.
But there are many more languages to try — 60, from Afrikaans to Yiddish — and
as you can see from the example above, there’s still room for comical error.
So: This week: Translate a line of text
from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that
result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps
into one or more other languages. Show us both the original and the final
lines, of course, and the language you used. (You don’t have to show us the
line in the foreign language.) If I can’t duplicate the process, I won’t run
your entry.
Winner gets the Inkin’
Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a ceramic mug
evidently designed to hold dairy beverages, given that it features a
three-dimensional voluptuous, perky, tan-lined human,
er, udder. Donated by Nan Reiner.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt (we’re phasing
these out), a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a
smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail
entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July
2; results published July 22 (online July 20). No more than 25 entries per
entrant per week. Include “Week 977” in your e-mail subject line or it might be
ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv. The subhead
for this week’s honorable mentions is by Mae Scanlan; the alternative headline
in the “Next Week” line is by Edward Gordon. Join the Style Invitational
Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.
Report from Week 973, our first shot at a third “Triple Crown” foal name
contest, in which entrants could “breed” only the horses that didn’t get ink in
the first contest, plus horses that ran in the actual races but weren’t on our
first list. For a field of just a couple of dozen horses instead of the initial
100, a fine run indeed.
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
Castaway x Full Cry = Jonah
and the Wail (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
2. Winner of the
battery-powered toilet handle/night light: Currency Swap x Lasso = Loan Some
Cowboy (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)
3. El Padrino x Stereo in
Motion = iPodrino (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
4. Sensor x Big Blue Spirit =
Eye Beam of Genie (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)
Horse do-overs: Honorable mentions
Fox Rules x Prospective =
Cunning Attraction (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)
Stereo in Motion x Sabercat =
Moves Like Jaguar (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)
Creative Cause x
Teeth of the Dog = Big Fang Theory (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Castaway x Fox Rules = Ginger
Ailes (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)
Lime Drop Kid x Castaway =
Dessert Island (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.; Martin Bancroft, Rochester,
N.Y.)
Castaway x Full Cry =
Robinson Caruso (Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)
Cigar Street x Castaway =
Butt Out (Charles Mann, Falls Church, Va.; Roy Ashley, Washington)
Sabercat x Chief Gaga = Poke
Her Face (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.; Fred Dixon, New Market, Md., a First
Offender)
Stereo in Motion x Chief Gaga
= TweeterLikeALady (Judy Blanchard)
Afford x Teeth of the Dog =
Discount Dentures (Tonda Phalen, Alexandria, Va., a First Offender; Bird Waring,
Larchmont, N.Y.)
Full Cry x Afford = Cry Me a
Flivver (Harold Mantle)
Afford x Sabercat = Put It on
My Tabby (Judy Blanchard)
Fly Lexis Fly x Afford = Fly
Yugo Fly (Cheryl Davis, Arlington, Va.)
El Padrino x Afford = Brando
X (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)
El Padrino x Big Blue Spirit
= Godpapa Smurf (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
Big Blue Spirit x Lemon Juice
= Djinn with a Twist (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Boltzapper x Done Talking =
Bye, Jove (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)
Boltzapper x Fox Rules = High
Doltage (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
Cigar Street x The Caller = Panatelamarketer (Chris Doyle)
Boltzapper x Creative Cause =
Pop Goes My Easel (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
Currency Swap x Optimizer =
Perfectly Franc (Steve Price, New York)
El Padrino x Currency Swap =
Capo and Trade (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)
Fox Rules x Full Cry = Telly
Ho (Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)
El Padrino x Fly Lexis Fly = The Godfeather (Michael Innis, Washington, a First Offender)
Lemon Juice x Lime Drop Kid =
Sauerbrat (Susan Vavrick, Springfield)
Stereo in Motion x Full Cry =
Panasonic Boom (Kevin Dopart)
Lime Drop Kid x Got What =
Lime Drops (Gregory Koch, Storrs, Conn.)
Take Charge Indy x Fox Rules
= All Right Turns (Rob Wolf)
Lime Drop Kid x Lasso =
7-Earp (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Lemon Juice x Lime Drop Kid =
Sierra Mister (Lynne Larkin, Glenn Dale, Md.; Brian Cohen, Lexington, Va.)
El Padrino x Went the Day
Well = Yoda Juan (Steve Honley, Alexandria, Va.)
Prospective x Afford = Future
Shack (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
Fox Rules x Big Blue Spirit =
Rude Indigo (Harold Mantle)
Currency Swap x Chief Gaga =
Drachma Queen (Steve Price)
Teeth of the Dog x Fly Lexis
Fly = Pugasus (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)
The Caller x Done Talking =
Dialed “M” (Kathleen Schindler, Chapel Hill, N.C., a First Offender)
The Caller x Take Charge Indy
= Harassin’ Ford (Mike Gips)
Lime Drop Kid x Lasso =
7-Earp (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Fox Rules x Done Talking =
Start Spinning (Gary Crockett)
Still running — deadline
Monday night — is the Week 976 “Join Now” neologism contest. See
wapo.st/inv976a.
Next week’s results: Eat Our Dust! or
New York Minuet